I love You! From the happiness and pain of life-long love

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    Yes hardly a word was last in the negative stronger. The end of the relationship in General and marriage in Particular, was imminent, since many agreed. The reason: The resistance of phobic rung of the “Generation Y” or “Millennials”, born between 1980 and the end of the 90s, would have had a liability of no interest, because they are too busy with self-optimization.

    Only that’s not true. The putative binding unwilling, on the contrary, quite wild to get Married. About 65 percent of 20 – to 39-Year-old perception of marriage as an outdated institution. Since 2015 will be closed in Germany every year, more than 400,000 marriages, so many were turning last to the Millennium.

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    Svenja Jeon-Thies, 45, and Miyeon Jeon, 32

    “for Three months I practiced the Text, am it gone over again until I could memorize. These lines, which I wanted to stop at Miyeons mother for her Hand. So it is the custom in South Korea. And as I was completely nervous before Miyeons mother, she looked at us both dumbfounded, according to the Motto: What’s this now? This was a shock. In Korea, homosexuality is not as normal as here. Therefore, we live in Germany. In Korea, our marriage is not recognized. And we would have been there, you can also start a family. Actually, I wanted children, never. Fortunately for me, Miyeon has convinced of the contrary.”

    ©Roman Pawlowski

    in The Event of the wedding has reached a new Level in TV as well as in Private. You would have all the drone videos of the wedding of the last five years celebrations are cut together, you would have to start probably until the end of his life, no new Netflix series and more.

    How has marriage to do that for? How is your strength?

    for ourselves, says couple therapist and book author Wolfgang Schmidbauer: “it is in our blood. We humans want to relate to each other.” The desire to have witnesses to his life, the majority still greater than any love of Freedom. Because even the most exciting Job and the most exciting travel is more fun when you can share Experienced.

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    Giannina main, 25, and Carl Jakob Haupt, †34

    Jacob and I were together for just two months when he received the cancer diagnosis. 31. The way he reacted to the disease, was extraordinary: He was simply to positive Thinking. Although he had me put even close to it, to take distance, this was not an Option for me. Instead, we planned how our life with his illness might look like, and made a fun out of it. In the event that him during the Chemo, the hair loss, we wanted to choose constantly new wigs and this is shared. Our love should be about the cancer. We traveled to Venice, Los Angeles, New York and Cuba. The Doctors had given to Jacob seven more years, I would have still never get the idea that we would grow old together. In January 2017 he was finally cancer-free and it seemed to us, as we would be, maybe not 80, but at least 60 years old. In may 2018, were detected in the routine examination metastases in the bone. It was depressing, but we knew what to do: back in the fight mode!

    We always had to marry before. Jacob wanted to propose to me when he was healthy. Not now. At the wedding in Sicily last September, we celebrated our love all the more louder. This Moment was so important for us that we have made Jacob’s funeral service this may be intentionally so, as the wedding would go on. The Eulogy that Jacob had written before his death, was a Declaration of love to me: ‘You’re the First thing I think of when I Wake up in the morning and the last thing I think about when I fall asleep. And, since the day we met. And so it will be now, if I for the last Time fell asleep.’ So, we reaffirmed our marriage vows beyond death. In the last days in the hospice of Jacob, and I thought a lot about what will remain of our intense moments. We have been clear that there must be this common experience that we share: to make a really terrible time, you fight as a Couple to the Survival of a partner, nice and cheerful. For us, this was financially too difficult, to Jacob as a successful Blogger, author, and organizer, had I as a Model – we have opportunities that others don’t have. So the idea for the Carl-Jacob-main-Foundation came to us. We want couples who are in a similar Situation, wishes to meet Alone during the chemotherapy support and a network of experienced ‘guides’ to build up, the Diseased to help with contacts to Doctors and hospitals.”

    ©hfr

    But like a good marriage? What is the saying today, Yes, learn from those that are already married for decades? And Vice-versa?

    We conducted 29 interviews with people about their marriage. About how you live and love what you saved or how you have failed. From their narratives, three aspects:

    1. Communication in marriage is everything, always.

    Before the Ceremony, it needs a clear text, what are the values we want to live in? How much equality there should be in terms of career, education, household? What personal freedom are important to us? In the marriage, then the seemingly mundane to the critical: “How was your day?” “What do you think?”, “How are you feeling?” It comes again and again to deal. In the best case, you stop, no matter how stormy or dreary, everyday life is straight, never in order to care for the other.

    married life

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    2. The Trick is not to stay, to separate again and again.

    So the possibility of difficulties in everything, Time and again bravely refuse. Not to step constantly in an insult competition with each other, to cause no Short and no long list of mutual failings, but to look again and again to the core: We are The functioning long-term relationship draws fundamentally from the skills of Confidence, patience, Humor and tenacity.

    3. It is said in the Trauversprechen “In good times and in bad,” not “bad as in bad times”.

    Who speaks only in time of war, a metaphor about his relationship, be warned. Fight through it, overcome it – is one of them, but discipline is not the Main be. Marriage is not a fight sport, but few dancing. If the music no longer plays and it is more to wrestling than swings, perhaps it’s time to let go.

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    Ana Maria Arevalo, 30, and Philip Quante, 33

    Actually, Philip had already won the battle. A fight that many will have to fight, but the least with the beginning of 30. The Doctors had him in surgery the Tumor out. But by the beginning of 2017, not even a year later, was the testicular cancer. Philipp began shortly after chemotherapy. On the day before the first meeting, Ana was cutting his hair from his head. As a sign of self-determination. And that from now on everything is different and especially better for you should be. For them, the had met ten years ago in Venezuela to this secluded beach that could only be reached by boat. Philipp, the Erasmus Student from Hildesheim, and Ana from Caracas, who dreamed of a better life in Europe. Today, Philipp is an engineer and Ana is a photographer is. In the months after Philip’s diagnosis Ana held on to everything with the camera. The bad hours and the good of the many sad and the few funny. After four months of chemotherapy Philipp was healthy again. The recordings of his recovery, Ana in museums.

    ©Ana Maria Arevalo Muramatsu

    The reasons for this are sometimes dramatic, sometimes seemingly null and void. But it is always a shock, when the question of the thought to be with the marriage Ceremony final answered, suddenly: “Go or stay?” Especially if the more loving act to Go would be to be yourself.

    A successful marriage is not necessarily the one that is divorced from death. A successful marriage, since Balou Temme in the Interview on page 30 right, is one in which the good times are in the Majority.

    Sounds too simple? Well, hopefully! In Detail this is finally, one of the most difficult Exercises of our life. And one of the most beautiful.

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